Saturday, March 24, 2012
Rascal Mosquit-eers..BITE ME!!( some time-off soul searching!!)
25th March 2012..Sunday 6AM.
I raise white flag declaring ceasefire and accepting my defeat at the hands of nature. All night long nature and I had been playing hide and seek. One mosquito would bite and run back to its base camp somewhere into the mountains like a Taliban and I would start carrying search and kill operation. BUT ‘what can man do against such reckless hate’ right?
Thanks to the hours long load shedding that our dear nation is blessed with,my mortein Power-Booster was out of order (power-booster my ass!) and the mortein coil burnt its last smoke of the day. So I was running short of ammunition. But that’s not the point! All night long I tried reading the psyche of this tiny creature. I heard somewhere that whenever one mosquito bites, it sends signals to all other mosquitoes nearby that converge from all directions and share the meal. How unselfish! Even in todays world where no one gives a rats ass about others,she send signals to help her fellows. I mean seriously!! Grow up you loud whining bitch! Why throw tantrum in the air.if you have infact found blood just thank God for it and quietly DRILL,DRINK AND SLEEP! Why shout out. Get a little cooler man.
While my side roommate could hear ‘Slaps’ all night long, I kept ruminating about the origin and history and possible significance of this irritating dude in nature. HOW DID IT COME TO THIS? There was a time centuries ago when the white haired ancestor, a big fat ass African mosquito-eer with banana leaves wrapped around its waist (!!!!????) went straight via nose into the brain of an evil guy and killed it. Though it was destiny but even for that poor dumbass ,he was detracted from his path.i mean how often do you see mosquitoes visiting your nostrils! Sigh..
HOW DID IT COME TO THIS??HOW?HOW? I wondered. How did they grow so sophisticated with time as to be using biological weapons of warfare ‘ THE DENGUE VIRUS’ nowadays. The weapon that scares the hell out of even the most pious of Mullahs of Lahore. I thought and thought and ‘slapped’ (myself every now and then with every bite) and kept thinking of methods to get rid of these rascals.and no matter how hard you slap yourself thinking that the mosquito would realize it has made you angry...well the poor thing doesn't. one funny way they use in field is releasing sterile males that compete with others for females and contribute thus in reducing population but honestly what do you think those sterile ones cant bite? Doesn’t matter if it’s a sterile one or the other just like it doesn’t matter if its PPP or PTI, they are all pain in the ass!!
I am not being personal with the mosquitoes. Its just that I couldn’t find a forum where I could criticize these killers. (its less painful criticizing humans,atleast they reply to your criticism). And no, this isn’t part of quest to FINDING ETERNITY either. Funny enough,after posting this in my blog,I could tag PML,PPP,PTI,Taliban,WAPDA and ‘COOLEST OLD AFRICANS’!!
25th March 2012. Sunday 7AM..
I am taking a valium along with two anti-histamines. I am not going to wake up now you rascals so BITE ME!!