Saturday, April 18, 2015

CAUSE ITS ALL SO FUCKIN' HYSTERICAL

what defines us? As an entity , a person, an individual, separated from the rest of the world by a full stop or maybe a coma. What shapes us up in our lifetime as an identity, a rainbow of timeline colors that can be appreciated in our own eyes but in others' as well? Are the true colors of ours as apparent to others as is our shape and face or have we masked them in the depths of our souls, not to be shown to the outside world? If, indeed, the real deal is concealed from the rest then what is the point of what they call social life and norms? Our society and all its traditions are thus in fact set upon a disguised mixture of blues and reds that have dominated over the minds forever.The real 'we' is kept invisible to the outside world, the apparent 'we' that mixes up with other apparent we's ,makes up what we call 'culture'. Reminds me of a famous dialogue from the movie 'Road To Perdition' when a boy asks this man, standing in a hall attending a dancing congregation in memory of their beloved who died,'why do you just smile all the time'.. The man stares for a second and with a sudden change of expression replies, ' Cause, its all so fuckin' hysterical'.
And 'fuckin' hysterical' it sure is that the guardians of ethics and norms, culture and traditions themselves are inflicted by the same routine that survives upon the visible grounds of deceit and ostensible vibrant colors but deep within each and everyone of these sanctimonious individuals, lies a completely twisted story, altogether. A tale full of true blends of love,hate,repents, regrets,mistakes,blunders. Darker shades of secrets kept 'secretly dark' and coated by sweet cherry red cream of lies, to add to the flamboyance of what they call 'personality'.
The question begs to be asked, ' If indeed this society is standing on the pillars of nothing but deceiving colors of what we are not ,then where does the authenticty and credibility of the same society stand when it comes to verdicts and passing judgements. When our  external displays are those of a finely shaped blend of lies ,why then be afraid of the judgements coming from the same mouths that themselves are full of surreptitious colors of ' love,hate,repents, regrets,mistakes,blunders'.
When Shakespeare said that life is a stage and we are all actors, he might actually have meant that we are living in a community where each one of us is an actor trying to hide what is and showing off what isn't... and well, dare I say again ' It's all so fuckin' hysterical'. The discussion never ends here for it is too primitive to just pass on a judgement and become the same tinge as our society. Finding the root cause is the next step in argument.
If one is to summarize the reason behind this strangely fake world we live in,it all narrows down to one word 'Mistakes'.
They say one looks at others the way one looks at his own self. A man with unforgiving demeanour has never exonerated himself too for the mistakes from the past. Strangely enough, a person who acquits others for their mistakes is one who understands and has experienced what it feels like to commit an error and find forgiveness. If you cannot forgive your own self and give yourself a break , you sure will never be able to give a chance to others too. We as humans are 40% stories and 60% mistakes. Mistakes make us who we are. They are what define us from within. They are the hammer that shape us into what we become. Is it wrong to commit mistakes? Are all our actions in our control at all times in life? My answer would be no! Nature is the best teacher. When life itself is never in our control, when time and our span of years to be spent in this world is unpredictable, how can our journey through it be predictable?We are humans afterall, mistakes adorn us.
Do we owe people to pass judgements on us or should this right stay with God since He is the one and the only entity that actually knows the reasons and circumstances? The answer to this should not even be a debate.
In short,The real plague in our society is the energy of unforgiveness that dwells within souls around us , the same unforgiving power we hold our 'hidden us' exposed to and cannot tolerate to see others given a chance to repent. Unless we be a little less hard on our own selves, people around us would continue to disguise their mistakes and try to survive in the narrow mindedness that has spread like a virus and unless that resolves, it shall stay fuckin' hysterical.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Surrendering To The Abyss



I'm crashing down hard with an angel inside me
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind me
I'm breathing my last with the sands in my hand
I'm falling apart with the darkness to blind me

A victim to the tug of war
The body became a past
Somewhere between saint and sinner
This soul has breathed its last
What was once
A solid bed of rock
Is rolling down like stones
Deprived of the feel of shock
My heart aches to the very bones
Collapsing down the pipeline
Like water that never stops
To give in to the love of gravity
A story of what remained on the mountain top
Gradually descends into oblivion
Sinking into the pull drop by drop

I'm crashing down hard with an angel inside me
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind me
I'm breathing my last with the sands in my hand
I'm falling apart with the darkness to blind me

Reckless life spent in shades..
Shades of Hopeless fate cut through blades
Of time and wisdom that walk together
A journey taken on solid foundation
Is helplessly rolling back
Into an abyss
From the core of which
A monster arises
Taking away the departed soul
Giving back a few moments of the how it used to be
Fills it up with mesmerizing joy
Colors glamorous enough not to annoy
And plays again with the battered hope
Tosses again from the summit
Of well being and prosperity
Watching everytime it crashes,The soul..
Like it collided before
The sheer show of power
The immense lingering of hours
The intense pain of letting go
The infinite joy that comes with it
To the vastness of the gravity
To the boldness of the infinity
To the genius of the insanity
The events moving in circles
Another day
Another soul
Another deja vu
The rhyming of words with his fall
As I witness through my void...


He's crashing down hard with an angel inside him
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind him
He's breathing his last with the sands in his hand
He's falling apart with the darkness to blind him...





Sunday, December 14, 2014

JUST A RANDOM THOUGHT...

Ever wonder a life
Where no time existed
No clocks on the walls
No ambition no pain
No loss no gain
No fate to sustain
No wretched existence of insane
A world...
A world less of miracles
A random mirage of colors
No morals no story
No personal endeavors of glory
No fights no vengeance
No borders no religions
No hope to plant
No faith to haunt
A world with...
No past no future
No surmise no dreams
No good no evil
No bloodshed no screams
No bed time tales of devil
An eye tearless
An entity fearless
No purpose of our descend
No mistakes to amend
But a life...
A life of fickleness
Seconds left unchewed
Minutes munched to the bones
An aeon for the sake of an aeon
No often no seldom
An eternity of freedom
A life without path
A day without math
A poem without rhyme
A script without chyme
words filling the  chasm
rhyming back into sarcasm
No arguments no discussions
No insanity with repercussions
Chains of..
 Chains of everyday agony
Weight of the repents of past
And helpless future
Broken in one blow
Through thoughts of twisted head
Light shining through a  glow
Ignoring the heart instead
Ever wonder
Ever wonder...


Sunday, October 5, 2014

My Kite Flies High Like Inky Dot In The Sky...


Hope,that one discrete color among thoughts that begets the impossible. It is a shape-shifter that clings to any entity you could find. It becomes the heart of a mother who has lost her child in the sea of people or the nostalgic head of a soldier longing for home. You see it playing with the spirits of the underdogs or sparking up flames in the soul of a lover. If life were a game of chess  then hope is that white knight sent to decimate the front-line of pawns and knock out the rival black king, when all is lost but the one little riding piece of a chevalier we call hope.
We all have hope in our soul hidden in the deepest cores where nothing outlasts but the purest forms of energy, be it negative or positive. Its the realm of thoughts and dreams, desires and aspirations. Every human being is born with a place in his heart for storage of such vast amalgam of ardor, though only a few are able to self actualize the potential they are born with.
In my quest for lasting truth and journey towards eternity, I have come across this kingdom of vim. Guarded on all sides by the turbulent pawns of pessimism and despair striking anything moving towards the gates. You will find hope locked inside those huge walls of defense impregnable to anything but perseverance and determination. Life puts everyone through the tests of time. Hopes shattered,dreams rattled and despite the sincere efforts towards attainment of success,you may find fate ground you down undeservedly like arrows  falling from the sky piercing ur heart and flesh apart. Does it really conclude there? Is life that short or uneventful as to end up like that ? The answer is no!
In fact such are the moments that inspire men to rise among stars or fall six foot deep into the dust. Its these moments where you hold your ground, keep on moving towards the wall of negativity and rekindle faith and self belief that someday soon you are going to break through the wall and enter the kingdom of vim where hope shall embrace you, replenish your vitality and make you feel the warmth of sun shine and calm your entity down, armoring you up for the next battle in life.
I have broken through the gates of my kingdom and hope flies high in my soul, like a kite. A kite that would sustain its flight no matter what time of the day or life.Bring on the rain and the storms and unforgiving hurricanes that take one by surprise but my kite would be swinging and dancing with the waves of time because its not just a piece of paper i found by luck.its the work of years of relentless and incessant struggle that no storm can dare challenge the integrity of the fibers i built my kite with.Even if dusk fell and  mountains seemed darker than the sky, my kite shall be seen diving and rising again like an inky dot in the dim of the sky.

Monday, April 21, 2014

WHO AM I ??


Like the wings of an eagle that has faced a thousand air waves of sand, dust of storm and drops of rain, like the many faces of hot winds of South and cold breeze of North, a million amplitudes of motions that make it glide and dive in, assimilating every bit of what it can take,I have faced a thousand forces of humankind,some hot others cold,some literary, others musical and a million pulls of artistic minds drowning me into whirlpool of life.
I have tried absorbing to my best. But these people have left their impressions on me , face to soul. I am no more myself but an amalgam of black, blue, yellow and pink. Yet in not being myself , I found my real self,my true soul. I had no art neither the vocabulary to understand my existence until someone brought in bebop to this wilderness that helped me express what i knew not, hitherto. Another person taught me how to laugh, even my voice and accent became someone else's, my hairstyle left mark of yet another soul and my dress up followed another pull. But what no one could ever change was my soul,my identity,the very core of my being.
I was black in the beginning until blue made me musical, yellow showed me the path to happiness and freedom and when I reached my destiny to realizing my inner truth,I found nothing but pink.Pink when you look at it in the first glance but traces of blue and yellow still remain.
And here I am , residing in the beats of seconds,lost in the leads of a guitar, swinging along every current , walking through the strings of charms and strokes of life, diving into every key of piano and shining through my violin, my words. Is it all real or just a mirage of what life and the winds have made me become?Is it all my real entity or have I gone astray to the baffling colors of the world that ever came my way?Are these the actual wings I was born with or just a distraction from the darker dull path of reality. But then again, what if it really doesn't matter?! What if life is in fact all about living a delusion to oneself and illusion to others , as long as your soul stays untouched,unchanged. Be it what so ever , I will stay an illusion, a shadow to the world as long as i can hear the hymn and as long as i can dance and swing through the cords of guitar.
Who am I and What I am to the world is a part of a ramshakled story unfolding still, to the ever mesmerizing symphony of love!