This time around though , there seems to be a permanent disconnection. There appears to be a halt, a subtle inactivity.Is my heart stopping.I could still hear the lub dub and feel my pulsations quavering through my neck. The clock is still ticking .But the soul, the pendulum seems to have unhitched. Not in the ideal middle where gravity could be blamed but on one side.The side of darkness , the place of immense dissatisfaction, painted dull by the world that restlessly tries to make it insipid every chance it gets.It seems as if the apathy from self awareness has let me escape my own protective bounds and this abyss ...of recklessness has thrown away my inner peace,broken the remaining surviving soul into pieces innumerable ,infinite,each made a share to the world that feeds on it for breakfast , for gossip, for intense talks and deadly sleep.
There might be another angle to this i didn't cover.maybe the pendulum still sits on the supposedly brighter side. Maybe dullness is an illusion of what my soul is actually going through.Perhaps the satan of time is not whats playing with my head but the angels themselves are falling into compulsion of necessary evil that is being demanded by life and circumstances where one could either lose wings and grow fins and run with the flow or fight off the harbinger of ill fate that carries blades in his cloak. Fight off it is!
I ask my soul again of what ifs and whys and it swings around dancing to the beats, the uniform unstoppable beats of the drum, it sways round and round and never replies. Then it halts and drops short a smile . An expression of wisdom like I already knew the answers.The answers to the quest, the elixir to happiness, the krypton to inner world. The message is simple for love never comes by force just as soul never reacts until we act upon our own selves ,until we fight off the world ,until we make our souls ours to own. The message was simple for life storms in breaking our innate apart and rebuild we must. Rebuild we do but lose to life for life moves on. what we build on our soul again, is this structure of never giving in , this self esteem and confidence that embodies our heart ,the new you and the new me,built upon sands brick by brick ,not by fate of a silver spoon but by life of shattered dreams, is too precious to be given away to flow of streams. It is too priceless to become selfless and so I fought and took fate in my hands never to give in to randomness of people and their ugly ways.This fate shall stay as long as the wall survives. It shall go on as long as the heart beats and i shall fly high upon my wings that survived fires and flares.
Days shall pass and time too.People will change and faces too .What stays with us is the frame of ticking clocks and the soul that dances free of gravity and the pulls.Freedom shall stay,so shall I .Freedom gone,so will I.